the microscope

some thoughts....

we have been so blessed to have the opportunity to stay with my parents during this transitional time in our lives. i can't begin to express the blessing that it has been to me and my family.  we are so grateful.

it has not come without it's challenges....as i'm sure that you would assume. challenges of all varieties. 

the thing that is on my mind is this....when we marry, we invite someone into our lives--in every sense--in a most intimate way.  this person becomes witness to our lives....for better or for worse, literally.  they see strength that others don't get to see but also our flaws. i don't think anyone would say this is an easy part of marriage. 

but moving in with people, you are exposed not only to a spouse but 3 other adults who witness your every move...as a daughter, a mother, a sister...etc.  i have felt so exposed.  not that i have anything to hide....but in many ways my incorrect self-perceptions are exposed in a way that makes me feel naked.  things that i thought i was pretty good at, it turns out, i'm not.  it's hard to parent for the benefit of the child and not for the benefit of those who are watching (observing or not).  now, in all fairness, i must say that this does not come out of any judgmental comment or anything.  its just the situation that exposes me and i feel overly self-conscious as i daily add to my list of "things i need to work on". 

i have, however, come to the conclusion that this is for my personal benefit.  i feel like my self-perception is aligning more with reality and i have a more realistic idea of what i can do to better myself.  none of it, is without love.  i feel so loved by eric, my family, and of course, my father in heaven.  i am so looking forward to general conference.  i am facing the fact that i need to change.  and i am praying to be open to it and for the guidance on how to do that.

preparation day

today most of my energy is going to getting ready for caleb's birthday week....starting with our family party tomorrow.  we are making/hanging banners and blowing up balloons, making cakes (lightning mcqueen, of course) and doing a little birthday shopping.  what i am doing nowadays is that kids get to have a big friend birthday bash on their even birthdays and family ones on their odd birthdays.  this year, we're on odd birthdays which makes it a lot less stressful! 

and here is just a little face to make you smile....

well, it makes me smile, anyway!

what we know

the other night, caleb came downstairs with an interesting-looking rash on his arm.  his skin was reddish and a little bumpy.  he has eczema and so we're used to these types of things however, the line of the rash stopped really abruptly and with a perfect line as if his arm had been dipped into something.  so of course, i start to panic and rush frantically around the house to find what he might had got into (chemical-wise) that might cause this kind of reaction.  i seemed to buzz around the house and fly up and down flights of stairs.  i didn't really notice maryn start to follow me and then she stopped me by the arm and sat me down.  then she said in her very calm, informative voice:

"okay mom, this is what we know.  number one:  caleb has a red arm.  number two:  it probably hurts.  number three:  he probably dipped it in something."

i loved her calm, quiet approach.  she's probably been watching too many kids detective shows on tv but i thought it was quite brilliant for a 4-year-old to think of trying to problem solve this way.  she's a doll. 

prologue: if you are wondering, we did find that caleb attempted to clean the toilet bowl by himself...including using grandma's toilet bowl cleaner.  needless to say, he's fine.  we washed him off well and lotioned him up with his eczema cream and put the cleaner in a MUCH safer location.

an offer

the news of the day is that we just put an offer in on a house....not just any house...THE house.  now, when we started this process, i was telling myself not to get attached. i was determined to keep my heart locked.  which was really easy as we went from old dingy, funky smelling house to house barely batting an eyelid.  as i mentioned before, we almost put in an offer last week, but there was anxiety. so we didn't. and then we happened upon it. beauty of all beauties. 

as i walk in this house, i don't see the trash strewn all over, missing electrical coverings and missing trim. i don't see the dead grass and weed pit in the backyard....i see POSSIBILITIES!  i see beautiful hard wood floors.  i see white walls like a fresh canvas just beckoning to be painted those beautiful soothing colors viewed in the the recent pottery barn catalog.  i see oodles of space for my kids to play....a large loft playroom right next to my sewing room. i see an HUGE unfinished basement for the kids to whiirrrr around in on their bikes and skateboards in the winter time. i see aunty maiya looking after little maryn on the school bus as they are off to school together.  i see the five minute walk from our doorstep to grandma and grandpa's and eric arriving home from work on his bicycle (after his 5 minute ride) for a quick lunch in the middle of his work day!  i see EQUITY!!! oh, oh, the possibilities.  my heart has failed miserably!!!

problem...we don't know how this offer will turn out....it's a complicated short sale with a legal battle between bank and owner.  too many hoops that we need to jump through.  it seems that the stars practically need to align.  so i ask you tonight in your prayers to add at the end..."and please help all janinie's dreams to come true." i would appreciate it. 

everyday

i realized that i have been blogging sort of snippets of our current life but not much of the day to day...so i thought i'd do a little everyday catch-up...

eric LOVES his new job.  he is working right here in highlands ranch (about 25 mins) south of denver and his office is about 3 minutes away from my parents house.  its so nice to have him so close by because he can swing home for lunch etc.

maryn and caleb are loving being so close to grandma and grandpa.  caleb particularly spends every moment with them that he can.  he loves to help with all their projects and they are so good to him and include him in everything that they can.  maryn has made a few little friends which is so good. she was feeling really lonely for a while. it is so fun to watch her with her friends. she is very sweet...insisting they always get to pick first and share her things willingly.

we have also been doing a lot of house hunting lately.  it's an interesting time. highlands ranch is a very affluent area and therefore the very entry level here is like the very top of our budget which is hard. there are a few surrounding areas that are less expensive. we have been going back and forth on it because when you add in the commute time and gas money, it just doesn't seem worth it.  we had the chance to put an offer in on a house last week and had everything ready to go but we just didn't feel great about it for one reason or another.  i am confident that it will all work out though. we found another house that has great potential but there is another offer in on it...but it has the potential to fall through so we are waiting to hear on that one.  its both frustrating, exciting and nerve-wracking! 

this was caleb a few moments ago....found himself a marker.  and yes, that is marker in his ear....both ears, in fact.  what a gorgeous face!!!

the fire brigade

as you may know, my big brother, roy, is a firefighter. so for a special treat, he invited us down to the fire station to see the engines (knowing caleb's obsession with all things vehicular).  well, it was a real hit! caleb's jaw dropped to the floor and they loved the chance to climb around on the fire engine, hold some of the important tool and hoses and (BONUS!) they also learned a lot about fire safety and what to do if there is a fire.  my brother also put all his gear on for them including his oxygen mask.  caleb particularly was weary of him when he did this but managed to go up and give him five. (a problem that firefighters have is that kids tend to be so afraid of their get-up that they run and hide. so hopefully it helped to know what they would look like if they were in that situation. they also got hats, stickers and a great coloring book that reviews all the fire safety. we are going to do a review and some role-playing for our upcoming FHE . i don't know if we got a special trip because we're family, but if you can, i would really recommend this as an outing!  it was a lot of fun and the kids learned a lot!

uncle roy-d with joshie

"roger that!"

ready to break through any locked doors

captain caleb

this was one on the coolest parts--they got to climb on top of the big engine and check out the ladders on top!

then this morning, i got to take caleb to his first-ever tumbling class.  it was such a different experience than taking maryn.  maryn thrived in the social and group aspects and did fairly well with the physical activities.  caleb however, was painfully shy during group time but creamed the rest of the kids when it came to the physical stuff. his daddy would have been proud! overall, it was a success and i think that the social graces will come with time.

the five monther!! and parachute skirts

i can't you believe that it has been {five months} tomorrow since this ray of sunshine came into our lives!!! he has been pure joy! 

here are a few joshie facts:

• can roll over both ways
• has a smile that makes you weak at the knees
• has eyes that sparkle
• no teeth yet
• is in the 75% for weight and height
• chunky monkey (my favorite flavor for babies)
• drools like a maniac
• has more love than he knows what to do with
• momma is his favorite (i thought i'd document that while it lasts)
• if anyone walks by him and makes eye contact, they're a gonner!  he knows how to turn on the charm and he gets picked up everytime!

next item.....

last year, i had a couple of skorts/skirts in sweet's summer wardrobe and more shorts/capris.  needless to say, all that she wore all summer were the skirts and barely touched anything else.  so this year, i am wiser and am not bothering too much with short/capris.  inspired by a parachute i say a few days ago, i decided to make her some twirly skirts in a "parachute" style. 

so i asked maryn at breakfast if she would like to join me at the fabric store to pick out fabric for her new skirts.  she just gives me this blank stare and says nothing.  so i non-chalantly add, 'but if you're not interested, i won't bother.' to which she answers, 'mom, i am just A-MAZED!'

they turned out adorable and she LOVES them.  so do i.  i love having my girly girl. it dawned on me the other day that i have to live it up while she will let me make these things for her because the two boys aren't nearly as fun to sew for. so here they are...

 

 

hooligans

well, i was thinking that you haven't seen the faces of these little hooligans for a while.  this is a picture from eric's phone. can't tell you how much i adore these faces!

little women of faith

this weekend was filled with surprises as far as the girls go. on saturday night, mom and dad went to a meeting and maiya (my little sister, 8) and maryn came downstairs and asked if eric could come and vacuum for them because they had cleaned up upstairs and wanted to surprise mom & dad when they got home.  then maiya declared that the dishes were her responsibility and so maiya did the dishes while maryn and caleb dusted. it was so sweet to see how excited these kids were to do something nice for their parents/grandparents.

but that's not all...after getting ready for church early sunday morning, i came upstairs to make breakfast for maryn.  when i asked her what she would like, she announced, "nothing mom---I'M FASTING!" like duh?  we were all fasting (well not really me because i'm nursing) but all of our family and extended family--for my brother to get this job he wants/needs with a baby on the way and my uncle gordon. i tried to explain to maiya that at four, she was still really little and didn't need to fast because it would be hard for someone so young.  but she wouldn't hear of it.  but we did agree that they would just start out fasting breakfast. so when we got home from church, and i asked them what they would like for lunch, they insisted that they would just eat dry bread and some milk because they weren't going to have treats when they were "supposed" to be fasting. what funny girls.  they are amazing to me.  needless to say, i think roy and gordon will be extra blessed because of the faith of these two sweet girls.