good morning, sunshine

i love mornings with my kids....they all hop into bed with me and we play and talk.  baby is usually in with me already (at about 4 a.m.) and next is usually caleb who bounds in every morning and with a high squeaky morning voice says to the baby, "good morning, hun-hine!" over and over again. next comes maryn.  we roll around and talk about what we want to do that day and giggle and do finger plays!

i love their sleepy morning eyes and their alfalfa hair-dos! it's a great day to start the day realizing how much i love them before the chaos ensues!

joshie just wants my camera.  he's thinking, 'i want that!' as in napoleon dynamite!

hope you have a great saturday! 

annual doctor's visit: check check check

today i took the plunge and took all three kids at the same time for their 'wellness' checkups.  it went well considering and the kids had me in hysterics half of the time.

first, in the car on the way to the doctor...

maryn: mom, why are we going to the doctor? i'm not...(thinks for a second)....actually, i AM feeling a little sick.

me: no, we're going for your checkup to make sure that you're really healthy and growing properly and ready for kindergarten.

she takes that in and then i can tell that she is getting a little anxious...

maryn: mom, what happens if you aren't very healthy?

me: they just tell you what you need to do to get healthier.

maryn: so they won't make me stay there?

me: no

maryn: because.....i have to tell you....everytime i go to grandma's house....(dramatic pause).....i eat A LOT of chocolate!

i assured her that she would be fine and that she needed to think about not eating too much chocolate.

so next, we get in for our visit and the kids were wired! luckily, we have a very sweet, very patient doctor who really takes his time with each child which i really appreciate.  they needed urine samples from maryn and caleb who were both more than willing to oblige and thrilled about this new experience.  i first took caleb and then maryn who was so pleased with herself. she insisted on carrying it back to the room as she dutifully marched back held it out in front of her like she was carrying something VERY important like she was the queen of sheba watching out of the corners of her eyes to see if anyone was noticing this very grownup little girl bringing home her prize!  once in the room, she and caleb spent the rest of the time knocking over the cups (they were closed and tightly sealed) and arguing over whose was the biggest, yellowest....and other important things. 

then came time for shots...these kids had 13 shots between them! it was a doozy!  maryn (4 shots) went first and handled it like a rockstar with a serene dutiful look on her face.  she had a hard time toward the end as i noticed a lip quiver but she was awesome.  next, was little caleb (4 shots) who clung to me but also did so well.  the first two were okay but he really grabbed onto me and whimpered a little over the second two.  then came the melt down....

as i put caleb down and got joshie ready,  caleb started crying, "mommy, you can't give joshie shots!  no shots for joshie!"  and it went on.  i put joshie (5 shots) on my lap and held him and had caleb come and stand by me.  but he crumbled behind my chair for his little brother as he heard the cries!  maryn too was trying to play it cool but struggled to hold it together as she nervously danced around covering her ears.  my heart melted for my sweet children! 

joshua was put onto his third round of antibiotics for a nasty ear infection that won't die.  this one is different and much more potent and if this doesn't work, will go to a specialist and might have to have tubes.  the doctor says that he can barely even hear! we've been battling this over the last 3 months and he is still such a cheerful little fellow!  i'm just PRAYING that this one works!

then it was all over and we went out for ice cream to celebrate! here are some stats that you might not care for but i would like a record of for later:

maryn: 75% for height and 79% for weight

caleb: 38 7/8 inches tall  - 88% for height

          33 1/2 lbs. - 75% for weight

joshie: 28 1/2 inches tall - 75% for height

           19 lbs. 7 oz. - 50% for weight

addendum: you might be wondering why all these shots....we were catching up from moving and not having insurance so next time should not be as bad.

little boy blue

where have you gone my baby girl?

today is my sweet maryn's birthday.  i can't believe that it has been five years since this amazing spirit entered my life and first gave the title of mother.  she is such a special girl.  i think of her as much as my sister as my daughter.  she is a kindred spirit.  thoughout her life she has astounded me with her kindness, sweetness, maturity and most of all, her desire to do good!  she is growing so fast! i often think of how spectacular she is and then think, oh--i'm just being biased.  and then i see her with other children and it reassures me that there is something so special about her.  she has such gifts. 

when we moved here to colorado, i got nervous.  we were living with my folks at the time as well as my little sister, maiya.  maiya has been given a heavy load to bear in this life including severe adhd as well as sensory processing disorder which hinders her in all areas of her life but mostly she has a really hard time socially.  maryn is three years younger than her aunt and they play all the time as you can imagine. but this is not the healthiest situation for maryn to be in.  i worried that it would hinder maryn socially providing her an unhealthy example from someone older. 

as i was concerned and prayed for her, i have come to understand her spirit much more deeply.  i have come to understand that she was put here on this earth - in this family - not just to bring me so much joy - but to help her little aunt - also her spirit sister.  i am astounded at her patience with the situation...not that it doesn't run out from time to time....but she keeps going back and she just adores maiya.  at the same time, it hasn't hindered her socially at all. she plays as sweetly as ever with her friends perhaps even more considerate because of her relationship with maiya.  she is the best big sister and most days does just as much mothering as i do.  she loves her brothers and they adore her!

happy birthday, my maryn!  we love you more than words can tell!  you have been a light in my life since the moment you entered it! thank you for being you!

love, mama

tuesday

today the plan is to try to keep from withering in the heat.  it is supposed to be 92 and ThE POols sTILL aREN't opEn!  it's driving me nuts!  when i asked maryn what she'd like to do today she answered, "not go in the car" because they hate the hot seats! so we will be over to run in the sprinklers at my mom's.

caleb's new thing when he gets reprimanded is to 'come back' with, "that's your choice, morm!" for example i say, 'if you take the food out of the dining room, you are going to sit in timeout.' his response, 'that's your choice, morm!'  he says it like he's being really cheeky.  i haven't figured out what he thinks it means but it's funny anyway. 

caleb and joshie have both been sick.  they are over it now though.  they had roseola (high fever and a rash) and joshie was also dealing with a nasty double ear infection.  they're on the mend though.  last week was pretty dramatic as everybody seemed to NEED me all the time.  i was swamped with kids and felt like nothing got done despite my constant efforts.  i hate those weeks.  you feel like your working your tail off and at the end of the day, the house is still a mess and kids are still crying and you wonder what you did all day to make you so exhausted.  i have resolved to have a better week though.

maryn's birthday is on thursday so there is much excitement about that including a countdown and much anticipation!  i'm sure it will be a lively week!

a new name

okay people, don't freak out...i just changed the name (and look of the blog).  well, officially changed the name.  this name has been displayed since the beginning of the year.  let me splain...

this year, my biggest personal goal has been to be me.  i know that sounds strange but perhaps you can relate.  i spend half of my mental life figuring out how i can have the style of suzie and the clean house like jackie and the creativity of molly etc.  you catch my drift?? upon much reflection, i decided that when it came down to it, i need to embrace and work with what i've got.  i need to wear the clothes that i love instead of what is going.  i need to spend my time creating the way that i love to. i need to mother cultivating my gifts and growing in my own directions.  this may not make sense....

an illustration....last year was the first time since being married that i had a handful of money to burn on clothes.  i have worn hand-me-downs and high school clothes for years.  upon going and buying some ADORable clothes that i-could-totally-see-so-and-so-wearing, i put them in the closet and they are reserved for special occasions when looking cute it a necessity.  since, i have gotten a few outfits that are totally me (i.e. comfy, movable, natural) and i love them!  not cute by suzies standards but they are me. 

so this is where the 'for reals' comes from.  it's one of maryns favorite questions and has become one of my favorite answers.  this blog is intended to be me trying to be me and be okay with being me...for reals. 

to faithful women

it has been years since i actually spent a mothers day with my mother and so that was a treat! my mother is the most magnificent of women.   not only is she beautiful and talented but she is also wise, faithful and fearless.  i feel so honored to come from a line of noble women. i have thought a lot recently about the women in my life....my mother, grandmothers, mother-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law and friends.  these good women inspire me to be better everyday.  they lift me and encourage me.  i am so grateful for the strength they are in my life.  so to all of you, i wish you

happy mothers day! 

thank you for bringing out the joy in my life! 

i would also like to thank my children for being who they are!  i am coming up on my fifth year anniversary of being a mother...i never could have dreamed of the joy that these beautiful spirits have brought into my life!

branding

well, our trip to idaho was a whirlwind and a lot of fun.  my little sister, aury, came with us (as usual) and we had so much fun catching up and playing! i have TONS of pictures so i thought i'd put up a few to give you the jist of the trip.....

grandma mary with the kiddos

oh goodee! maryn is in that stage of trying to look funny in pictures.

delicious.

 

who was just saying that boys are gross....yes they are.  this is sander very pleased about the fresh cow poop on his fingers!

we travelled through the night and so the kids tuckered out about half way through and went off to occupy themselves elsewhere.  sander, however, stuck it out and loved helping out.

yowzer! hottie!

four-wheeling

after a fun day, we all loaded up onto the four-wheelers and went for a ride out on the desert and through this little lake.  we ended up caked in mud!  don't know how that happened!

running: day 1

heart feels like it will pound out of my chest.

ears aching in the cold morning air.

lungs on fire.

legs burning.

wheeze.

stumble into the house.

maryn: hey mom! i thought you

were going to go for a run!

see you tomorrow, sidewalk.