so long...farewell....

 my beautiful little sister has her bags packed and is headed for the mtc in provo tomorrow morning.  she will there be trained as a missionary and then head out to indianapolis for 18 months of proselyting and a consecrated life.  i would be lying if i didn't admit to being slightly jealous.

she is going to be an amazing missionary and have amazing adventures.  i am so happy for her but we are going to miss her terribly.  my hair is going to miss her tremendously too but that's not important.  we'll just think of my upcoming hair troubles as an ode to her absence!

emma-calemma....we love you and will pray for you everyday!!!!

the preschooler

i don't write much about this boy on here.  but honestly, he has my heartstrings tied in knots!  caleb is enjoying busy bee preschool so much.  when he asks if he has school in the morning and i tell him he does, his face lights up and then he tries to change his expression and sound really cool, "well, i don't really like school...not that much......actually, when i'm in kindergarten, then i'll stop liking school."

caleb keeps himself busy with intricate plans.  none of my kids are the "la-la-land" imaginative type.  but they like things that are real.  caleb builds things.  he loves legos.  he also ties a lot of knots.  he unscrews everything with screwdrivers and had been know to drill a hole or two in the wall when an unsuspecting drill is left lying around.  however, he was sure to x out his holes doing a thorough job with a measuring tape and a pencil which he tucks behind his ear when he is not marking x's.  he ties together shoelaces and bunji cords.  one to a doorknob which leads to the bed which leads to another doorknob etc.  eric recently took him along to the boy scouts pinewood derby.  that was completely up caleb's alley.  he even got to make his own car which he, of course painted race car red.

this was a little conversation that i had with the boy a day or two ago....all about his pinewood derby car and his girly-friend, grace, who he said he might kiss....but we straightened out those ideas....i could just bite his cheeks right off.....

from the trenches

greeting from the "trenches" of young motherhood!  this week has been an exercise in persistance, disinfectants, and patience as i have taken it upon to potty-train the youngest of my crew.  in my own corny way, i have had this picture in my head of how potty-training is a great analogy for motherhood in general.

there is the absolute determination that we start out with.  we are going to do this dang-it!!! if it's the last thing we do!!!  the morning starts off with a pile of 347 pairs of teeny-tiny undies fresh out of the wash and ready to take on the day.  along with a costco box of juice boxes and a serious candy stash on to mention the sticker chart.  a stack of children's books next to the potty.  and a schedule that has been wiped completely clean.  there has been build-up, preparation is the day has come that the "ceo" of this family will enter the realm of being a "big kid".

day 1
the morning starts out fair.  first off, comes the ceremonial dumping of the diapers.  clean undies in place over little buns that look completely delicious. juice boxes are downed ten to the dozen.  breakfast is served.  and then starts the mayhem.  first, a game of jumping around.  standing on mommy's new couch, a flood to rival niagra falls.  it's too late.  mom slaps a smile on her face.  "it's okay....just tell momma when you need to go and we'll go in the potty.  you don't want to get thomas wet do you?"  get cleaned up, changed, lysol, febrezed,...back on track.  the morning progresses and you notice that around lunch time, you're close to being out of supplies and not a single piece of candy has been handed out yet.  laundry on and a different approach it set into play.  i start to time how long between each accident....approxiamately 20 minutes (did i mention that he had free reign over a costco box of juice boxes?).  set the timer for 18 minutes.  and then when the buzzer goes, we head for the toilet.  and half-way through our first round of "popcorn popping", the magic happens!  score!  the song doesn't get it's grand ending because mom is freaking out!  hooray!  you did it!  can't believe you did it!  child stares up with bewildered look on his face trying to figure out what the heck is going on.  sticker chart and candy.  now, he's starting to like this potty thing.  several more accidents and several more victories finish out the day.  we are both exhausted!!!

day 2
starting to catch on.  but frustration sets in.  the "ceo" does not want to go "try" every 20 minutes anymore.  there are bigger and better things for him out there.  mom does not want to be swimming in pee and poop anymore.  plus, leaving the house sounds like it might be fun too.  not today.  mom's voice doesn't reflect it's initial enthusiasm anymore.  wondering if if will ever start to sink in.  stick with it. stick with it.  you can do this.  he can do this.  my mantra.  the day forges on.  little to be too excited about.

day 3
are you kidding me?  when is this going to start sinking in?  i'm killing myself here all i'm getting for it is a whole lot of pee and poop and tantrums few kicks in the face.  plus, at this point my house is in shambles.  i have cabin fever.  although i don't think this is bothering the "ceo" one bit as my kids would never leave home other than going to grandma's if they had it there way.   he's hit the jackpot not having to run a single errand for 3 days.  he's fed up with me.  i start backing off on liquid because i'm tired of cleaning it up.  dad gets home; he's fresh.  manages to get a poop in the potty.  big victory. dad also send's me off to the temple.  my victory.

day four
it's 2:40 and we haven't had one accident.  relief. we even ran a successful errand this morning. one trip to the bathroom while out and no accidents.  not as much resistance today and rewards of candy and sometimes getting to "play" on the ipod are sinking in.  we're getting there. naptime right now so i am breathing.

isn't this how it all is?  this is condensed and heightened....but it's all about determination, victories, frustration, feeling defeated but picking up and carrying on,  more victories, tons of hugs, tons of kisses and "i love you's", falling, tons of "you're doing it" and "i'm proud of you", tons of trying not to overreact....and it goes on and on.  it's exhausting and entirely rewarding at the same time.  

i love being a mom.  those three faces make my entire life worth something.  i always thought that i wanted to be joan of arc.  i wanted to be noble.  i wanted to have courage and do something that would change the world.  my perspective has changed.  i am joan of arc....to these three angels.  they are my life's work and i am changing their worlds....hopefully for the better.  i can't think of anything more noble or that requires more courage and leaps of faith than motherhood.

i am blessed.

signing off....from the trenches.