spring break: take 2

we did have busy time of spring break.  it was actually kind of funny.  i LOVED having a week off of work to just focus on my kids.  and i LOVED not having to drive to and from the elementary school three times each day.  our days seemed longer and ran together and it flew by all too quickly.  the part that i didn't expect was that as we took a break from our usual craziness and exhaustion, our lives spun out of control.  the house was a disaster.  we forgot to do things that we usually don't forget to do and be places we are used to being.  we have such a busy life and i found that in the juggling act, i dropped all my balls over spring break.  so here was a bit of what we were doing while we were not doing what we were supposed to be doing:)

one evening, maryn and i were running errands and we watched a small amount of smoke coming from the nearby foothills turn into a mass of smoke that bellowed over the houses from a forest fire.  it happened over a few minutes and was completely beautiful and devastating at the same time to those who lost their homes and their lives.  the sun glowed bright red through the smoke.  we are reminded occasionally of how hard mother nature can be.  {while i was typing this, burn filled my nostrils again to find my dinner burned to smithereens! drat! starting over....}

 we made some "catapillars" by painting some egg cartons...

and then there was the birthday party....i am an "at home" birthday party kind of mom.  we only do parties for even numbered birthdays but this happens to be our even year.  a couple of months ago on groupon, they were having a deal for half off "pump-it-up" birthday parties and then i had a coupon for 10% off of that, so being the cheapie i am, i decided to go for it to change things up a little.  we could invite 15 kids so maryn and caleb each took half (joshie was the tie breaker) and we did a combined party.  caleb had dreamed of the star wars cake he had seen a gajillion times at sams club and maryn wanted a tie dye cake with a peace sign...made my job pretty easy.  i will have to say, it was really stress free but i did kind of miss planning and throwing an at-home party.  they all had a ball though and that's what matters...

Happy Easter!

i love easter!  and today was a special day. we had a wonderful sacrament meeting and maryn and maiya sang the most beautiful song with their friends olivia and becca.  it was called "gethsemane" and is the sweetest song.  they worked so hard and it took a lot of courage to get up there in front of so many people but their sweet voices were strong and clear and the spirit was strong as they bore testimony of the savior through song.  i couldn't be more proud of those girls.  

of course, there was great excitement over the traditional easter egg hunt. squeals of delight from the children and grown-ups proud of their hiding skills. i am greatful for this day of remembering.  it makes me want to be better and try harder.

learning lessons

today, i took a triumphant caleb to the shops to buy his long-awaited kite.  he has been saving his chore money ever since the kites showed up a couple of months ago in the shop.  his chore money combined with a few dollars he received from his grandma for his birthday totaled the desired amount and he was begging me to take him.  so i decided that before my students started arriving this afternoon, we would make a quick run.  we marched into the store, caleb carrying his money jar tightly sealed.  he perused the kites making a careful decision to choose just the right one which he finally did.  we went to pay and he carefully counted out his money and handed it to the cashier disappointed that he didn't get any change. he got over it quickly thrilled with his purchase.

we rushed home as my little singers would walk through the door any second.  the group arrived and we headed for the basement and started our practice.  all the while, caleb carefully pieced together his new kite.  after singers company, i was teaching a lesson when i heard a devastated cry. the kind that makes you so sad.  a little brother had ripped a little tear in the kite that had been laid out on the ground even before its' maiden voyage. my heart sunk. i knew how hard he had worked and how excited he was about it.  my first instinct was to run to the store and buy him another and make everything better for this little broken heart.  as i thought about it, i knew that wasn't the right choice.  i knew this was a hard lesson that i had to allow him to learn to take better care of his precious things. i suppose that maybe i am writing this down so that someday maybe he will read this and know that even though i didn't just make everything all better, i wanted to.  my heart broke for him through his sobs and i wanted to mend it but i love him enough to want him to be able to learn bigger lessons.

learning lessons is hard.  allowing your kids to learn lessons is hard.  

i have been digesting conference and there is so much that i am looking forward to studying and going over again.  i listen to conference while i clean my house and so i get to hear it quite a few times and each time i have different thoughts and impressions that sink into my heart.

the main thought floating around in my head is how incredibly blessed i am.  as i listened to elder packer speak of the little homeless boy, i thought of the children around the world who are hungry and orphaned and who so desperately need mothers and fathers and just someone to love them. i thought how unfair it is to let children suffer. i thought about the fact that life isn't fair and sometimes that is the lesson taught.  i stared down at the drowsy growing chubby little one in my arms.   he was drifting off into dream land.  i thought of each of my children.  how they have warm clothes, full bellies, a solid roof over their heads, and so many people that love them so much.  they have the whole world at their finger tips.  i often worry about things like struggling to pay all our medical/dental bills, whether i have my children in enough extra-curricular activities and feel guilt over the time that i take to work to help provide for our family and make ends meet.  but this weekend was a moment to stop and reflect and realize that we are doing just fine and i need to be more grateful for the abundance in our lives.

i know that god has a purpose for me, eric, and each one of our children.  i know that i need to be more open to revelation and seek out that purpose.  i know that as we face the door of our home toward the temple and things of eternal importance, great power and influence will come into our lives as we take our place in the kingdom and we will have greater strength to accept the lessons we are taught.

when the wind comes up, we will take out the kite, patched with a little duck tape and remember that life isn't perfect and be grateful.

six.

dear caleb

today you turned six years old.  i have to say that i think that it was THE most anticipated birthday that we have ever had in our house.  you have been waiting and counting down since christmas.

it was a lovely day with you! you were up at the crack of dawn and came in and said, "mooomm, are you forgetting what day it is?"  we invited grandma and grandpa over for a pancake breakfast to help us celebrate.  the plan was to eat breakfast and then open presents.  but you were dying with anticipation and couldn't sit still and so we decided to let you open presents first.  you only asked for one thing: a bow and arrow.  you were thoroughly spoiled with a green glow light saber (g+g charsley), a soccer ball with some money and a jacket (g+g grover), a baseball glove, ball and bat, and a movie. and of course, a bow and arrow set.  you immediately went to work (play) and marched around all day with your quiver of arrows over your should and arrow....between conference talks and sessions, you got in a few shots.  it was a lovely day.

you are a very special child.  i am overwhelmed with the love that i have for you.  you have always attracted people to you.  you love school and everyone at school loves you.  i love to pick you up from school because you give other children high fives and hugs as you leave and have a trail of children shouting 'good-bye caleb!' i have thought about why you are such a well-like little boy and i think i know the main reason: you are kind.  and that is one of my favorite things about you.

another thing that i really love about you is that you are grateful. every mother should have a grateful child and boy am i glad i have you.  you almost always remember to say thank you.  even to things that i don't expect.  you are not super snuggly but you often wrap your arms around me and give me a hug and say thank you for so many things.  you tell me that i'm the best and even though i know i'm not always the best mom, it really is wonderful to hear that from you.

you are growing up so fast and i am loving watching you take your roll as big brother so seriously.  your little brothers love you to pieces and joshy looks up to you so much and i know that adam will too.  i am grateful that they have such a good example.

tonight, we lay together and looked at your baby pictures and i told you about the day that you came into the world.  you were a miracle.  you came into my life at a time when i was struggling with personal challenges.  you were light to me and hope.  you were so much comfort and you have brought so much happiness to me ever since.

as long as i live, i will remember your ritual when you hop out of the car to go off to school for the day and turn back to me and flash the "i love you" sign before you run off with your friends.  if i could only really tell you how you mean the world to me.  don't grow up too fast, my sweet boy.  you have greatness ahead of you. today, i am so grateful to have you still quite little and mine.

with all my heart,

mom
xxxx