modesty and the lies we buy

vent:  there are few things that in this world that make my blood boil....and this is one of them.

i recently experienced someone who dismissed a completely inappropriate picture (as in soft-porn) up on a billboard as "not sweating the small stuff."  really?

i just have to say that i am confused.  there has been this feminist movement.  women fighting for "equality".  fighting for the right to vote.  fighting for a voice in a male dominated society. i'm all for that.  but now, it seems they are fighting to either become men and/or be what men want them to be.   and in the midst of it, trying to take our great strong men and turn them into a bunch of emotional pansies which really is a subject for another day.

i have decided, i don't want equality.  i don't want to be a man.  i want the rights due to woman not because they can act like men but because they are respected for being woman.  because they are honored for their own divine role just as men should be respected for their's.  i don't care if men can do things better than me.  fair enough.  because i can do some things better than most men and i'm just fine with that.

i am tired of seeing the woman's body time after time after time flaunted as an object of desire (and by "desire"i mean worldy lust and perversion).  is a woman's body beautiful? yes.  but a more fitting word for those on billboards and in magazines is unrealistic.

we, as women, everyday are sold lie after lie about ourselves. everywhere we look.  we are told we should look a certain way....be a certain way.  our bodies labeled as artwork or disgusting depending on our level of commitment to the world's unforgiving war on women.

i truly believe that our bodies are the most sacred gift we are given on earth.  we should love
them.  we should look after them and we should protect them.  it is no wonder then that satan's forces are fully dedicated to skewing  and perverting the most sacred thing that we have.  it is no wonder that the multi-billion dollar pornography industry is rampant and out-grossing (pun-intended) more than just about any other industry.  woman freely selling themselves -literally- for money and fame only to be doctored in photo-editing software into an illusion while the rest of us sit here and live with the constant reminder of the impossible.

ladies, don't you get it?  when a man admires you for you boobs falling out all over the place, he's not loving YOU!  it's all that illusion.  and if the unfortunate truth is that if that is the substance of a relationship then there is plenty of other "substance" out there to be had.

in contrast, when we take these bodies of ours and dress them beautifully and appropriately, we demand respect.  i will not accept being treated or - even thought of- as an object of any sort and if i am, it will not be through any fault of my own.  i have a divine role.  i am a woman.  i am a mother.  i am here to bring light and beauty and goodness to this earth.  i will not offer up myself as an idol.  i will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage.

please, let's take back feminism.  let's be feminine and lovely.  i am flattered when a man will open a door for me not disgusted.  of course i can open it by myself....but isn't that a mark of an honorable man honoring a woman?

i want the men in my life to be men.  i want them to honor woman and i will honor them.  i want them to tell their daughters and wives that they are so much more than something to lust after.  i want them to tell them that they are magnificent and lovely the way they are.  i want them to honor them by not looking at filth and seeing the heaven that woman can bring to this dreary man-made place.

i want more than anything in this world for my daughter to recognize the evil in the lies she is told about herself everyday.  i want her to see the goodness and absolute beauty that she holds in herself both on the outside and the inside and that if she chooses not to believe the lies she is told about how she should look or any other false notion out there, that she can own her beauty.  she can be confident and love herself and others will love her because she will project true beauty that they won't even know how to describe because it is real.

likewise, i want my boys to realize that they will be held accountable for the way they treat the woman in  their lives and if they know what is good for them, they will treat those precious girls like china dolls.  i hope that they will treat every girl with respect and honor.

i am so grateful for the woman who surround me.  my mother.  my grandmothers who are all honorable woman who respect themselves and others.  i have the most incredible friends.  they are modest and beautiful and so much fun to be around.

sometimes, we are trampled and dishonored by the men and sometimes women in our lives.  i think the key is to realize that our value does not change by how others treat or view us.  it always was there and always will be.  it's about how we view ourselves.  it's time to not accept the lies.

more on the subject...

http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html

and

http://ldsliving.com/story/63275-beauty-redefined-rejecting-the-medias-impossible-standards

obligatory post

so, i haven't posted for a while and i'm tired of staring at the same post and heaven knows i'm tired of the 1058298 times josh has watched his singing video.  so i feel it's time to update....although i don't really know what to say.

we are all still alive and kicking.  life is still busy.  i am making it through a period of extreme turmoil....hard decisions......and things in my life changing....plans changing that i hadn't really expected.  things are good....no need to worry...just a a refocusing exercise i wasn't quite expecting.   i'll explain more later....when things are clearer.  boy, am i grateful for prayer and the spirit and guidance.

along the way, i have been trying to potty train josh for the last month and a half.  yesterday, i gave up.  giving up was one of the hardest things to do.  i was so determined and so disappointed but it was a decision made that will be better off for each of us in the end.  i don't think he's ready.  and in the process i was losing my carpets, my new couch and my sanity.  josh didn't care....bless his heart. not in a mean way. he just couldn't be bothered by the whole thing right now.  so we're back to diapers...and sanity.

maryn is chugging along in school, piano, and hip-hop.  she loves all of them although i'm sure she wouldn't admit to liking school because that would be like social suicide to her right now.  so she does NOT LIKE school.  she only loves her teacher, friends, reading, math and science.  but DEFINITELY NOT school.  she is a diligent little piano practicer and has the prettiest little hand position ever and i love that she loves it.  she LOVES her hip-hop dance class and is really good even though she's one of the littlest ones in there.  she is very deliberate about her moves.

caleb also does NOT like school but loves miss leigh and all his friends, learning letters and doing projects.  hmmmm...sounds familiar.  he loves being outside and riding his bike on warm days.  he loves finishing people's sentences which usually really makes me laugh because he often gives the sentences completely different endings than their intended meaning.  he plays legos pretty much all day long.

i've said it before but josh is the child i want to kiss and smack at the same time.  he is so entirely lovely but this potty training business has sort of put me over the edge.  there have been a lot of very deep breaths and counting to 10.

that's all for now.

snowy

these have been snowy days in the last week or so!  we have been staying home, trying to keep warm and eating WAY to much and working out WAY too little!  in this state, i find it very hard to be motivated to do ANYTHING other than stay in pajamas, watch movies, eat, and bake.  which is a problem when the weather persists for this long.  i've been enjoying watching my favorite movies which include many jane austen/bbc productions and today i watched my favorite movie of all time....dan in real life.  don't even ask me why but i completely love that movie.  i can watch it any time of the day or night.  i love juliette binoche and think i was always supposed to be french but somehow ended up in africa.....and now america.  i love steve carrell and how completely awkward he can be.  i love the family in the movie and somehow, i can relate with each character.  and i love their house in rhode island and would love to be there too.  needless to say, just thinking about that movie makes me laugh.  i know this is not necessarily true for everyone...it's kind of random in my array of "classics".

anyway, i digress....church was canceled on sunday.  we got to have a quiet sunday at home.  it was heaven.  no meetings.  don't get me wrong, i enjoy meetings but sundays are usually jam packed with them.  this week, we had a day of rest.  it was needed.  these pictures are my children and dog running to grandma's.  this is another advantage to where we live....so close to grandma's that even in treacherous blizzard conditions, we can still make it to sunday dinner!  and it was delicious as always.

joshie has somehow managed to double in speed and energy and triple in volume in the past few days.  he loves to talk to you about 1 inch from your face and then, he is still yelling.  he also tends to run around naked a lot which just results in lots of pinches of his delicious cheeks.  he and caleb have been making lots of lego creations.

maryn is still wearing tights and skirts everyday despite the negative temperatures.  maryn and i are a lot alike...but this is one way we are not.  i would live in sweats and jeans if i could pull it off without complete disgrace.  i made her jump in the car the other day to run caleb to preschool.  she was very miffed that i made her come despite still being in her pajama's.  "this is SO embarassing!" she told me.  if only she knew how often her dear mom isn't even slightly phased by a late-night or early morning run to the shops in my sweats!  oh well....to each his own.  this year, maryn will be buying her own clothes because heaven knows, she won't wear what i buy for her!  she is a lovely little thing with all her own ideas.  i love that about her!

sing-song

i am fully aware that home videos are not that entertaining to others who don't think your kids are just the bees knees but oh, how my kids love to see their little selves up on the blog and play them over and over.  mr. josh is quite the singer and musician at large....my right hand man in piano lessons.  and when i'm not teaching, he is teaching "plano yessons" to his "students".  here is a little of the joshie we love....


Untitled from Janine Grover on Vimeo.

and the universe threw it's head back and laughed

there is will be no pictures to accompany this post for reasons which will become obvious.

a week or two ago, my brother called for sympathy relating a story of his toddler discovering his own diaper and smearing poo all over their apartment, carpet....everything.  after cleaning and gagging and cleaning, they finally took rest on their bed.  bryn picked up a flashlight laying on the bed only to have his hand newly caked in poo all over the handle.

i laughed and shook my head and got a kick out of my little brother's shear disgust and the newness of those parenting firsts.....

fast forward to this morning.  well, we have been potty-training for close to month now.  it has not been a smooth coarse.  we are still waiting for certain breakthroughs to happen such as going #2 in the toilet and not in the undies.  but, we remarkably have kept our resolve and are chugging away. doing load after load after load of laundry on top of the regular amount.  i have felt like i've had a naked bottom and other parts in my face for a month now.  and so it carries on.  but we are determined....

this morning, eric goes downstairs to retrieve clean undies for the learner only to open the dryer and find a disaster.  he came upstairs trying not to smile but with a real look of sympathy on his face.  i knew i was doomed and didn't even want to know.

what i am assuming happened:
having dealt with our fair share of accidents at this point,  there have been times that i am in the middle of something....like lets say dinner.....and i just tell josh to go and take his wet pants off and put them in the laundry and i'll deal with the rest of him as soon as i can.  he must have put his undies in the laundry with a little log hidden in them without me knowing....

so this morning was the discovery as you open the dryer and remove the "cleaned" contents to find poo smeared all over my dryer walls, in the vents, the lint chamber nicely caked and dried on and then  at the bottom of the dryer....mocking me....is a ball of now fossilized poo that somehow made is through the entire process.  mercy.

so there i have sat with my rubber gloves on, 409 (which luckily I bought in bulk from sam's) and some lysol coughing and spluttering and gagging and scrubbing.  bluck!

needless to say, i'm sure one day i will laugh about this....hence, i'm recording it....today is not that day.

the last month was brought to you by spot shot, 409, members mark medium sized medical gloves, and a whole bunch of paper towels.