because i am such a slacker, this is my back to school post after being in school for a month already although now i think i have a much more honest feel for things than i did those first days of school. this is my baby girl - first grade. she loves her teacher and one of her best friends did make it into her class this year as well as a new little girl who just moved into our ward. that is very exciting for maryn to have another member in her class.
the first week or so was great and maryn seemed to be adjusting well. she really loves her teacher and didn't seem to mind the full day too much. when around the third week, however, things started to change and it has become a battle to get her out of the door. not a screaming tantrum kind of battle but a sad sad homesick cry of not having enough time with me and knowing that the boys will be home and playing without her.
honestly, it is killing me. i feel terrible! my first piano student generally arrives right as she walks in the door and i don't finish until into the evening when the dinner rush and bedtime routine is going. i do spend some time with her each evening putting her to bed, chatting and reading together and that helps but both she and i are having a really hard time with this. i've just been praying and praying to find a way to work this out. i don't know the answer yet. i know that their are bigger calamities in the world and going on in people's personal lives but i'm having a really hard time knowing she needs me more than i can give her right now and that's killing me.
my photography business has really really done well this season and i'm loving it and if i wasn't sure that it would die out around christmas until next spring, i would just ditch the piano to have the time with my kids. but i just don't know what i should do.
well, sorry that this supposed to be 'up-beat' back to school post has turned into a venting session. maybe that's just what i needed. this little lady is the world to me. she is the epitome of beauty and i see divinity in her everyday. i love her more than words can express and i'm absolutely honored to be her mom and that heavenly father trusts me with the great and noble and absolutely beautiful spirit.
4 comments:
Yes, there are many calamities in the world, but there is nothing so important as the heart of our little ones. You are completely right. I completely relate to this post. Tears filled my eyes as I read it, because I understand how you feel. I feel it with each of my daughters, often. Prayers for both of us, as we strive to figure out the answers each day! You are a remarkable mother.
It is SO hard to balance everything--and I don't think there is anything wrong with questioning what you should do or how to deal with it--because it truly IS important!
She is such a beautiful girl!
My rush against time is my one constant struggle. She's beautiful!
so i LOVE your photography!!!!! i am ann richmond's friend (the sleepy time gal) and have really enjoyed looking through your photos!
i'd love to know what post editing you do, in general. beautiful photos!
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